He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
