used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
