I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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