i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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