I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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