are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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