i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
