i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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