I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
