Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
