Me too!
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Randomize
