Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
