anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
