and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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