either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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