A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I look excited, but its just a facade.
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