Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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