so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Randomize
