laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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