Just cropdusted the office
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
