don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
