I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
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