maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
