Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
