I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
It's just like the Real World with babies
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Randomize
