Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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