Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
