Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
PANTIES FOUND
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
