what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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