It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
dude i'm inner monologue high
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
