Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
