Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I need to stop coming to work sober
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
You are the jesus of drinking
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
