You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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