Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Randomize
