batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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