Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Randomize
