Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize