Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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