We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
