in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize