We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
