he shaved USA in his pubs
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
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