Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
