pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
As shirtless as possible
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
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