lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Randomize
