the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
