He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
