Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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