girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
