In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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