she smelled like a LAN party
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
