I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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