Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Randomize
