Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
