Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize