Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
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