belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
