i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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