I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
