I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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