I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
