Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
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