Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Boobs are out for the taking
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
