dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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