So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
