At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
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